Madame President

“There’s always a story, always a chain of events that makes everything make sense.”- Rick Castle

I love this quote from the first episode of Castle that aired in March 2009. Maybe its the writer in me, but I love the idea that everyone has a story, something that shaped who they are today. In the episode Castle saying this is followed by a thorough bringing to size of Becket- he tells her, without knowing how accurately he hit it, her story, what makes her her. I recently watched this episode with a friend, in our effort to watch all four seasons this summer, and  it got me thinking about my own story. What shaped me into the person I am today? What makes me ME? I’m not sure I know myself. It would be so easy to take shallow surface things and say that that is why I am the way I am. Sure, my parents horrible divorce made me scared of marriage, and my grandparents constant, never-ceasing support for the first [14.75]17 years of my life is the reason I have the little confidence I do. But really, that’s something anyone who has spent any time with me can tell. What’s the deeper story, the “chain of events that makes everything make sense” in my life? What events, big and small, long ago and very recent, are the reason I am who I am? I wish I could tell you. I wish I could write my own story, give myself my happily every after, tie everything up nice and neat before moving on to the next story waiting to be written. Life isn’t that simple though. Maybe, in 60 or 70 years I’ll be able to look back and see exactly what my story is, but right now it’s not so easy to see the story. Maybe it’s because my story is still being written, I’m still being shaped into the person I’m going to be.

“I am unwritten, can’t read my mind, I’m undefined

I’m just beginning, the pen’s in my hand, ending unplanned”

Something a bit different…

What do I believe?

I believe in sunshine, flowers and spring days.

I believe that better days are just around the corner.

I believe in hope.

I believe in love.

I believe in rainy days, sitting by the fire.

I believe laughter is the best medicine.

I believe.

I believe in faith

I believe in friendship, family and loyalty.

I believe in try and try again.

I believe that risking our hearts is the reason we’re alive.

I believe in hard work’s value.

I believe.

Last October I was driving around the Northeast visiting law schools with friends of mine from college. More than once the topic of a bucket list came up and I said I should really make one, but never did. Well here goes nothing!

1. Be in Times Square for NYE

2. See elephants in the wild.

3. Tour Italy.

4. Be in St. Peter’s Basilica for the election of a new Pope.

5. Write a book.

6. Gain self-confidence.

7. Meet JK Rowling and ask her why she killed off Hedwig and complain to her about killing Lupin and Tonks (never forgave her for those deaths…)

8. See London

9. Own a house on the Cape

10. Work up the courage to cut my hair super short (but still super girly and cute)

11. Learn to stop thinking so much about everything and just live.

12. Sit in a coffee shop just talking for hours with someone special

13. Fix my relationships with my parents and siblings

14. make enough money to buy cute heels that fit right and wont hurt my feet

15. be happy

16. buy a brand-new Buick

17. have a family of my own

18. learn to be patient

19. follow my dreams wherever they lead

and finally, number 20, the only one that really matters in the end

20. find love and don’t let it go for anything.